Much Better Myths


This isn’t even a review. This is too awesome for that.

Oh my god.

Or, more appropriately , GODS!

This guy has a blog. This blog, which is still updated pretty regularly, contains many, many, many retellings of myths. Greek, Roman, Chinese, American. Whatever.

For example, here’s an excerpt from a play of his that neatly sums up some fucking unreadable shit written by Sophocles. I think it’s called Antigone? The name of this play, by the way, is Antigone and the Too Many Suicides.

CREON: Hey son, hope you aren’t mad that I’m gonna execute your fiancee.

HAEMON: Why would I be mad? You’re just keeping it real.

CREON: I’m glad you see it that way.

HAEMON: No wait I lied, what the fuck is wrong with you?

CREON: Uhh … just a little something called JUSTICE. Think about it. If we buried the bodies of all our horrible traitors instead of letting them rot in the streets, what would our city be like then, huh?

HAEMON: More sanitary, mainly. Dude just put some dirt on that body already. It’s not that big a deal, even.

CREON: I’M THE KING, I DO WHAT I WANT.

HAEMON: Alright, good luck with that.

Meanwhile, ANTIGONE gets buried alive in a pit or something.

ANTIGONE: I’M BEING BURIED IN A PIT AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

The rest of “Ovid’s” shit is just as fucking hilarious. I love him, and you should too. Go to his blog and read literally everything. Suckle on his sumptious creative nipples and enjoy the sweet milk of mythology re-told.

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